I know what you’re thinking: is it really, though?

I get that dysphoria sucks. I get that the world is still, on the whole, largely trans-ignorant if not outright transphobic. Being trans has social challenges, career implications, and other systemic barriers. We likely experienced childhood feeling like something was deeply wrong. Perhaps we were bullied. Perhaps we coped by dissociating. It all sucks.

But in this moment, I feel grateful for being trans. I have a nuanced view of gender that the vast majority of people will never obtain. I can look at my gender identity and feel proud of it. Cis people rarely get to this point because they don’t have an impetus to actively question their gender.

Seeing gender as the performance it is feels like I’ve stepped off the stage and into the audience. I’m no longer trapped in this play put on by society, dancing along like a puppet. The curtains are pulled back and I see the strings. Dance, baby, dance.

I feel more free to express myself in the way I want to, rather than to be constrained to what society deems acceptable for the gender they perceive me as. I’ve been slowly incorporating more femininity into my daily presentation. I notice the surreptitious looks I get, but I find it hard to give a damn.

Being trans is a struggle, but I see the world so much brighter for it.